Home Disasters

We've all seen the TV sitcom where the water pipe breaks and the comedy follows. Why did no one tell me real life wasn't like this?

Now my issue isn't with the water pipe, its with the drain. Right now, every drain in my house keeps backing up. It has done wonders to open my eyes to the things we take for granted, like being able to flush the toilet and not have fecal matter flood the bathroom.  I have also discovered I can't do a load of laundry because the washer draining fills the bath tub with water. If problems solved like the sitcoms, this would be a great thing. I would be thrilled if it just resolved in a two part episode, as opposed to a entire season.

I started by going to the local hardware store for something to clear the drains. I was informed it was a city sewage issue. I called the city and was informed the sewage department didn't handle sewers and I had to call the water company. After explaining that I would think the sewage department would handle the sewer issue since sewer is in their name, I was told huffily to hang on and they would connect me to someone who would know what is going on. That person told me they would come out and let me know later that day what was going on.

Needless to say, no one showed that day or the next. Calls to the department went unanswered. When I finally got through on Monday, I was told they would transfer me to Tim's voice mail. The name on the voice mail was Don. I called back and explained that I was told to leave a message for Tim, but got Don's voice mail.  I was told Tim didn't have voice mail but Don would get a message to him. He always does.

In the mean time, I contacted a plumber online who guaranteed they would be out the same day. After waiting 4 hours for a response as promised from their website, I called their office just to be told the town I live in wasn't in their area. Really??? Then why did they spend the money to advertise that they were a local company handling my county?

The sewage company came out and of course, the issue is in my system. I have a different plumber coming out tomorrow.

Now, according to my sitcom training, this should have resolved in 23-25 minutes, allowing for commercials and local news promos about some mass murdering rapist that is sure to strike me down if I don't watch the 11:00 news. So, why is this taking me days to fix? Is there a witch living in the neighborhood in Bewitched style that has cursed me in some way?

So, where is the comedy in all of this? Bloody good question? The nearest I can tell, the humor is in the eye of the beholder and that Murphy guy is really laughing hard today!

Where You Should Never Go Part 1 (Washington D.C. Area)

This will be a recurring theme simply because there are bunches of places you should never, ever go.

In this episode, we will address being in the United States Navy or Marines and NCIS.

On the left is a picture of the cast with Kate, the former Secret Service member who is later killed by Ziva's half-brother, Ari, who she later kills to save Gibbs. From left to right, we have Tony, Dr. "Duckie" Mallard, Abby, Gibbs, McGee and Kate.

The next picture is of the cast with the addition of Ziva David,the Israeli liaison, is the woman standing in the black dress.

Now that you have been introduced to the group, we can proceed on why you should never visit the Washington DC area if you are in the U.S. Navy or Marines. It is quite simple, it's not safe.

Every week, Gibbs' team is tasked with investigating the death of a sailor or marine in the Washington D. C. area. The poor sailor or marine is found in dead by some gruesome means such as being found under a frozen pond, in pieces in a 55 gallon drum. floating in a stagnant above ground swimming pool, murdered by Gibbs' former mother-in-law, by an unknown virus on a ship at sea or a bomb. Considering there are 175 episodes to date, including tonight's episode, in 8 seasons, that's a pretty high death total.

Now, I know sailors and marines expect to be under fire and possibly die for their country. However, I don't think it is in their expectations to die from being stuffed in a Civil War coffin and buried alive. It is expected to die in a war zone, not while on leave or from sabotage from one of your buddies cutting the ropes as you climb a wall in training.

Now there are rules to live by, according to Gibbs. However, it's hard to obey rules set forward by a man who bears a striking resemblance to Ted Bundy.  (The made for TV movie, Deliberate Stranger, 1986, starred Mark Harmon, also known as Leroy Jethro Gibbs.)

So, if you are now or have ever been in the navy or marines, you have been warned. Do not go any where near Washington D.C. or Los Angeles. Although NCIS: Los Angeles has only been on the air for two years, it is doing well in the ratings and can expect to rack up just as high of a body count as the original NCIS.